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It's funny how time goes by fast. Just yesterday
you were beating pencils on your desk and what you thought was a careless hobby turned out to be a passion that stuck with
you for life, and now your making your dreams a reality. It leaves you to think about your art and the question of it being
a conscience decision or an unconscious decision. It's funny but I do still remember. It all starts from the discovery of
realizing it, and deciding whether or not to go on the feeling or just simply leaving it to chance.
I can remember always expecting more out of life for myself; just being ordinary didn't sit well with me. I can
remember back when I was 3 years old, crawling out of my crib, and wondering in the kitchen to pull out pots and pans to beat
on. Time wasn't really a factor for me, only the passion I didn't yet know I had for music. I can remember being in school
while class was going on, and taking out my pencils and just simply beating the top of my desk. It was a carelessly act done
with no remission, but was their something wrong with me? That's what the teacher thought. It wasn't the first time that it
happened. I always stood out from the rest of my peers, not swearing, cursing, but always being known for causing mischief.
Their were times when I was little in church and just being fascinated by the musicians that were playing, (my father
being one of them.) It looked real easy to do, but then trying after church, it just didn't sound the same. Getting into
trouble in the principals office seemed like a regular day in school for me, and believing that I didn't cause any mischief.
It seems like just yesterday that my uncle was taking me to music lessons in the South End of Boston, how I hated to go,
because I felt like I wasn't doing what I wanted to do in music.I felt inseparable from music, that's what my mother said
when I was being interviewed by news center 5 about my talent that hadn't been discovered yet. From the bright lights, to
the cameras pointing, to everyone staring at me like I had just one the lottery. It still was unconscious to me. I can remember
auditioning for the Boston Arts Academy School, the factor was just being nervous, and the relief was finding out that I was
accepted. High School was in session at 8:30am. I can remember getting to school at 7am just to play the drums there. I can
remember it still being dark outside and the streetlights were still on. There was days during lunchtime and I would go directly
in the music room to practice. Just listening to Miles Davis, the yellow jackets, and the whole jazz era opened my ears to
the ideas of just playing freely. It was then a conscience decision I made on my own to stick at this Art. Art to me being
something that you create, and model into your own design
I could remember always dreaming about going to Berklee after high school, but being worried about how much it would
cost.
Growing up in Boston was hard because not every teenager cared about his or her life, or where they were going. I always
knew I was destined for greatness. Their were nights that I would dream about seeing myself playing before thousands of people
and enjoying it. Just the opportunity for someone else to feel inspired by my craft, and have the motivation to work on their
craft was all the thank you I needed.
My first year doing the Berklee Summer Program was a great experience, but I was nervous and excited at the same time,
but still I yearned to be a student their. A college where all you do is play music, I looked forward to the summer time every
year.
I graduated from high school at the Berklee Performance Center; if that wasn't fate I don't know what was. It was such
a great feeling to know that this was the place I wanted to go.
When I was awarded the Berklee City Music four year scholarship, it was such a blessing to know that I wouldn't have
to pay for my tuition, and coming from an urban part of Boston, that was one less obstacle for me to worry about. I can remember
the feeling like it was yesterday, my group had just finished performing at Berklee, I sat on the stairs behind the stage
to cool off, and catch my breath when Lee Berk announced the first 4 year scholarship to me, I was speechless, it took me
about five minutes to come out on stage, I was in the back screaming with my friends. Only now everything is different to
me what I thought was supposed to be a music school is not really it. I still have to do academic work, and most importantly
I have to be more responsible. I was on probation at Berklee my first year for failing academic classes but on the other hand
I got to play in mind-blowing ensembles that pushed my playing to another level. I still remember.
I recently ran into one of my professors at Berklee, his name is Winston Maccow. I was asking him questions on
how he felt about students that come to Berklee and are conscience/unconscious of their art they pocess. He responded by saying
it's a trend at Berklee that has been going on since he was in school, most students are never conscience of their art, they
just do it until something better comes along, and the other half of students like your self come into Berklee already with
the realization of their craft, and are at Berklee to studying/research their instrument in dept, so that when their done
with Berklee they are the ones that go out and make music history by modeling their Art to thousands of people in their own
design.
Winston said it all for me, I was speechless because that's exactly the way I felt about my fellow peers at Berklee.
I guess the ongoing question is what's at stake here? A person's passion, and understanding for their art, or the other option
doing what is comfortable and the norm. I don't know you be the judge of that!
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